We're back with another exclusive expose on perhaps the hottest food-related topic on the internet today: the weird, wonderful, unusual, questionable but always interesting [citation needed] monologues about my food foibles.
Incorrectly Microwaved Burgers
Let's drop the charade here; we all, at one point or another, have eaten a ready-made burger prepared through the ancient art of nuking it. Nuking is what my family call microwaving and yes, we know that radioactivity is not used in microwavery. It's all done with witchcraft, how else could you explain it?
Anyway, for any who has indulged in the delights of a burger made by the lowest bidder, when you leave any food item on one side in a microwave it tends to build up with moisture. In the case of our nuke-a-burger that means the top bun is relatively unscathed whilst the bottom bun is in a weird transient state in which it is simultaneously chewy, hard, soggy and fluffy.
Should I be proud that I like it? Probably not. But that unusual texture leads to an entirely unique burger experience that offers meat, cheese, sauce, and a bun that is one part bread, one part dough, one part pancake, one part dumpling and all parts undignified gratification.
Underdone Puff Pastry
It's every pastry chefs worst nightmare; whilst the top of your croissant looks deceptively delicious it's lifted off the rack to reveal a soggy, uncooked bottom. No longer like it's flaky brethren, this patch of pastry is doughy, flabby,.buttery, silky, sumptuous...
What?! I like it when pastry goes wrong! I happened to have had enough gooey mistakes to garner an appreciation for them and, I dare say, it gives me an advantage. If your chicken pie comes out perfect then great! You get to enjoy the fruits of your labour. But for me, even when it's improperly cooked, I get to enjoy my creation.
Overcooked Scrambled Eggs
If I ever got to cook on Masterchef, standing in front of Gregg Wallace and John Torode, and I was asked to make scrambled eggs the plate I put forward would raise an eyebrow or two. They'd go into the intermission room, exclaim how I couldn't even cook eggs properly and I would be soundly whisked away with a sympathetic expression on the judges faces. Not that I've thought and dreamt about this specific scenario countless times or anything.
Nevertheless, the point being is that I like my scrambled eggs technically overcooked. I say technically in italics because to me I'm cooking them perfectly; how I like them. I know the proper (read: French) way is supposed to leave them just cooked, still fluffy and loosely spongy, but I don't like that. I prefer the firm, slightly dry results of an overcooked egg. Sue me.
Do you have any food quirks or abnormalities?
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